Mark 5:25b-28 “And a great crowd followed him and thronged about him. 25 And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, 26 and who had suffered much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was no better but rather grew worse. 27 She had heard the reports about Jesus and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his garment. 28 For she said, “If I touch even his garments, I will be made well.”
Can can’t even imagine the life of this woman. For 12 years she had ongoing “bleeding” which, according to the old church code, meant that she was “unclean” and unable to touch or be touched, lest the other person be declared “unclean” as well. She was a total outcast and tried everything, going to every expense to be freed from this state of loneliness and ostracism. But things only got worse. So, in a last ditch effort with a cocktail of superstition and faith, she pushed her way (making everybody unclean that she came into contact with) stretched out her hand to simply touch Jesus.
Desperation. Shame. Hopelessness.
Where have you experienced this?
Modernity tells us to not be ashamed about anything. There is no right or wrong.
Classic religion tells us that Jesus is enough, but that you sin made baby Jesus cry and you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
So where do you go with it? How do you deal with your shame?
Run. Pretend. Defend. Fight.
What if, instead you simply reached for Jesus?
Instead of ignoring it. Instead of drowning in it.
Owning it and being transformed by it.
Shame comes from a shattered and humiliating identity. When my identity is the summation of what others think about me, then what is inside of me (and comes out of me in ugly actions) will bring me utter shame (a broken identity). But when my identity comes from Jesus and my public identity has been crucified on the cross with him, then my shame has been paid for and my adopted identity secured.
Hebrews 12:2 “…looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Let’s finish the Mark 5 story:
5:29 And immediately the flow of blood dried up, and she felt in her body that she was healed of her disease. 30 And Jesus, perceiving in himself that power had gone out from him, immediately turned about in the crowd and said, “Who touched my garments?” 31 And his disciples said to him, “You see the crowd pressing around you, and yet you say, ‘Who touched me?’” 32 And he looked around to see who had done it. 33 But the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came in fear and trembling and fell down before him and told him the whole truth. 34 And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.”
Jesus took her tiny, faulty belief, and blessed her. He not only healed her physically (which shows that he cares about our humanity), but also gave her PEACE! He restored her soul. Her heart. Her life.
And isn’t that what we are really looking for? Peace. A unified wholeness of self under his tender compassionate reign.
And that’s what he offers you and me. Take your shame to him. Your brokenness. Your shattered public identity. Your personal shame where you have shattered your private identity.
Mark 1:9-11 In those days Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. 10 And when he came up out of the water, immediately he saw the heavens being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove. 11 And a voice came from heaven, “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased.”
This has been one of my favorite passages in Scripture for a long time. In it we see so much power, beauty and intimacy in the Trinity. In this passage we see all three persons of the Trinity in one place at one time for the first time since Creation in Genesis 1. This passage shows not only the intimacy between the Trinity, but also that he was re-creating creation in that moment. But this time the “new Adam” would not fail in the temptations and be sufficient to live the life we were required to live and die the death our sin requires of us. And it starts right here. At the scene of the Dancing King.
So look at that moment. Jesus the Son coming up out of the baptism waters; the Father speaking words of Hope over him; the Spirit like a dove coming not just over but INTO Jesus. This is how God works. Exists. Dancing in and around one another. And, for all who are in Christ, dancing over and in us. Inviting us to Dance with Him.
Here’s how C.S. Lewis puts it in Mere Christianity: “[Christians] believe that the living, dynamic activity of love has been going on in God forever and has created everything else. And that, by the way, is perhaps the most important difference between Christianity and all other religions: that in Christianity God is not an impersonal thing nor a static thing — not even just one person — but a dynamic pulsating activity, a life, a kind of drama, almost, if you will not think me irreverent, a kind of dance”.
So what is that to me? Why would I care? Here is how C.S. Lewis speaks to that:
“And now, what does it all matter? It matters more than anything else in the world. The whole dance, or drama, or pattern of this three-Personal life is to be played out in each one of us: or (putting it the other way round) each one of us has got to enter that pattern, take his place in that dance. There is no other way to the happiness for which we were made.”
We are invited to live a life of Spiritual Dance. Christianity isn’t about rule following or “just” being saved. It is about organic, rhythmic, relational, intimate, exciting (and sometimes dangerous) dance. Does that describe your relationship with Jesus? To be honest, it rarely describes mine…which beckons me to “repent” or dancing with the the wrong partner (but more on that in the next blog).
Just seeing that word…’anxiety’…it makes my heart beat just a tad bit faster. She (“anxiety”…and yes, it’s a she in my head) has been my nemesis, my arch-enemy, my Lex Luthor. One of my “gifts” is being able to vision and see down the road a good little ways. The shadow side of that is when I don’t see God on that potential horizon. Or, worse yet, I see God but He’s either too weak to help, or has a not-so-pleasant destination in store for me. And that ticks me off. And it makes me anxious.
So what is this so called “anxiety”? Here’s the main text I always gravitate toward:
Philippians 4:6-7
…do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
I’ve “used” this passage over and over, trying to somehow achieve this elusive “peace” that I want so bad. But what IS anxiety?
As I dug down deep, I learned that anxiety isn’t that angst in my gut, but it (she) literally means “to be divided”. The actual problem is that I see down the road and I have a divided faith. On the one hand I believe that God is: 1) Present and there to help, 2) Wise, knowing how to help, 3) Loving, wanting to help, and 4) Powerful, able to help. But I ALSO don’t believe that. I do. And I don’t.
So what do we do about it? Paul tells the Philippians, who were facing real persecution and danger, to look up at Jesus rather than forward and “around” Jesus. To be “thankful” as we look back and see that throughout all of history God has always, always and always been faithful to bring his people through the desert. Not always how they might want to come through. But always through.
And this only comes in relationship. We can’t just USE God to have him make us feel better. It needs to be the organic back and forth of relationship as we learn that we can truly trust him.
Don’t take away my “man card”, but you can see this hopeful love in one of my favorite songs “Come What May” in Moulin Rouge.
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace Suddenly my life doesn´t seem such a waste It all revolves around you And there´s no mountain too high No river too wide Sing out this song I´ll be there by your side Storm clouds may gather And stars may collide But I love you until the end of time
The inconceivable hope that we have is in this word “Thanksgiving” — that word is literally “Good Grace”– the word Eucharist, which is what we call the Lord’s Supper. Communion. The solution to anxiety is the sacrifice of Jesus. Seeing Him and what he has done rather than the potential “what if’s” down the road. To realize that, “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? (Romans 8:32).
So come along with me my friends. Battle this demon of anxiety with the satisfied and completed Hope that is Jesus.
Here is a link to the sermon I preached on this ridiculous hope.
Psalm 27 13 I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! 14 Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!
Psalm 27 finds David in the darkness of hardship. He’s being pursued and is afraid, betrayed and abandoned. But in the midst of the turmoil, he keeps turning to God as his provider and protector…to God to hide and protect him; to lift him up high.
Where do you turn when you are in the darkness? This Psalm can feel like just sappy placating; an effort to just try to make me feel better. But what if it’s true? What if God my Father really does hide me and lift me up? What does that look like and what do I do?
Despite being surrounded by the storm, David looked on the dark horizon for the sunrise, and was assured that he would once again “look upon” the God’s goodness. When I’m in my darkness, my head it pointed down and my hope is absent because I can’t “see it”. David’s first word to me is simple: Wait.
I hate that. I want the sun to rise right now. I want to see my hope. But often I can’t. So David’s next word is this: Be Strong. We aren’t called to a simple passive couch-waiting. We are called to actively wait. To dig deep and believe that the sun will rise. A great example of this is seen in Jesus’ followers. They stared at darkness for 3 days, seemingly losing hope in the promised revolution. An even greater example is Jesus himself. He was literally dead, the ultimate darkness. And he had to wait. Three days. We don’t know hardly anything about this period of time (did he descend to hell or not?), but we know that the end result was the ultimate sunrise (insert cheesy church “sonrise” here). And now, because of his perseverance we now have a living hope to get us through our darkness. Because he was strong, we can admit our weakness and receive his strength.
And this living hope leads to the next word David gives us: “Be Encouraged”. We can’t be strong enough in and of ourselves no matter what talk shows and self-help books tell you. We simply cannot grit our teeth enough and push our way through. We need the Holy Spirit using other people, His Word and miraculously Himself to infuse courage into us where we are weak and afraid.
1 Corinthians 1:20-21 20 Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? 21 For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe.
We love to be in control. When we grew to a family of 5 and had to go the mini-van route, one of the key needs we had was the button that allowed for “rear control” of the A/C…but with the ability to override their control. We live our lives like this with God and each other. We give lip service to “let go and let God” but in reality we retain all veto rights to who we are, what we do and who gets what credit. We absolutely HATE weakness and fundamentally DEMAND control. I hate weakness because I want people to love and respect me. I grab control because, deep down, I am sure that I know better than God and that He doesn’t really want what is best for me.
But the Gospel is fundamentally based on weakness. God chose Israel, the weakest nation; he chose outcast women, temperamental fishermen and tax collectors. He decided to come into the world as a vulnerable weak infant in order to save the weakest. The message of the Gospel demands that we simply admit and own our absolute weakness, and this is all that we bring to the table. It’s not that we bring nothing. We bring less than nothing. We bring a deficit. And he takes that deficit for us while crediting to us his strength. Not just salvation, which would be enough, but strength in this life that is all Him. But Him through us. For some reason he decided to empower us to be his hands and feet, knowing full well our tendency to take full credit for what isn’t our doing. But he did and does it anyway. Once again he lowers himself lower than us in order to raise us up with him.
So today, enjoy your weakness. You are far weaker than you can possibly imagine, but have been empowered and elevated far more than you could possibly dream. The more we can understand that concept, the more we will elevate and enjoy Jesus. And isn’t that the whole point anyway.
When I was a kid growing up in Austin (before it was Austin) there were actually empty lots and freedom to be a ridiculous kid. And I was.
Across from my house along a creek my friends and I made a sweet tree-fort. Three stories tall with a secret entrance so that all the bad guys couldn’t get to us. It was glorious. I loved making forts in trees or out of blankets in my bedroom or whatever.
I still love making forts, but they look different now. I make protective forts out of things like reputation, money, morality, health, looks and family.
So what is a fort? A fort for me is something I build to bring me personal heart-safety. It’s where I try create and secure my identity and hope. Something that will protect me from insecurity and pain. The problem is that forts don’t work. The enemy of pain keeps sneaking in and stealing my value and hope. But I keep making them, thinking that maybe this next one will do the trick.
King David did the same, and he faced some nasty enemies. He tried making forts out of armies, riches and reputation, but they repeatedly failed him. But he also moved into The Fort that alone could offer shelter. He writes about it a lot, but let’s look at Psalm 18:1-3 where he realized what REALLY brought him deliverance.
1 I love you, O Lord, my strength.
2 The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
3 I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised,
and I am saved from my enemies.
It is the same but different for us. Our “enemies” are likely not bad people seeking to do us harm but ourselves and the sin that is so pervasive…or the nasty enemies of this life like death and disease. God in his infinite glory, power and sacrificial love sent Jesus to fully “save” us from the Greatest Enemy we will ever face: Sin. And in so doing he has set HIMSELF up as our fortress. By no means does this mean that our lives will now be sappy and happy. Quite the contrary. But our hope is no longer is comfort and ease (which are unattainable), but in HIM (who is perfectly attainable). And HE cannot be taken away, nor can we be taken away from him. When our “enemies” attack, we are not alone. When we are in despair, we hurt but are joined by the Great Comforter, the Holy Spirit.
John 16:33
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
Matthew 27:25 And all the people answered, “His blood be on us and on our children!”
How do you resemble your parents? Do you have her nose or his hair? Her artistic ability or his gifting for math? Her quick temper or his greed?
What do you hope to inherit one day? Her jewelry or his classic car?
Matthew 27:25 is an incredibly ironic verse. This verse comes right after Jesus’ illegal trial where the people were asked if they’d rather free Jesus or Barabbas. Of course they chose Barabbas. But still Pilate couldn’t rationalize sentencing Jesus to death, so he “washed his hands” and told to riotous crowds to do as they pleased. And they said these unbelievable words “His blood be on us and on our children.”
And here is the irony. In one sentence they declared the essence of the Gospel.
On the one hand they all, and we all, are guilty of His bloodshed. Like inheriting your dad’s bad habits, we have inherited the guilt and penalty of sin. We are just as fully responsible for the death of Jesus if we were the ones to literally nail his hands to the cross. So the GUILT of his blood is truly on us and our children.
But on the other hand, we are also offered the HOPE of his blood. The very act that brought Guilt also brings Life; what they intended for evil, God intended for God, and the salvation for all who believe.
And this is my prayer for myself and my children…and for you too. That we would admit our guilt in his blood while also receiving the forgiveness that his blood offers. You can’t have one without the other.
So my parents just got back from Alaska to see the Northern Lights. Apparently God decided to put on a wild show. Just before they got there the sun threw out some wild solar flares, hitting our atmosphere just in time. This picture seems surreal and other-worldly. But it isn’t actually my favorite one.
This is:
Impressed aren’t you. It would seem that my dad forgot to take off the lens cap. But actually this picture captures something extraordinary.
This:
Just highlighting the behind-the-scenes in photoshop (no other doctoring at all!) reveals what couldn’t be seen: brilliant show with the North Star leading the way.
And this is Good Friday, leading up to Easter. As Jesus hung there bloody and dying, every reasonable person was either cheering or crying because Jesus and his mission was snuffed out. But he wasn’t. It was the darkest of times that turned into the brightest. The exact same moment was the worst time in history and the best. The death of Jesus was brutal, and freeing; horrible and glorious; infuriating and loving.
So my heart needs to visually be reminded that God works in paradoxes. He turns evil into good, and he does it for, in and through me because he did it foremost to and through his Son so that my worst can be turned into best.
And so Jesus could say with confidence: “It Is Finished” (Jn 19:30). Because his death has brought me life. And now as I wait for Sunday when we celebrate the resurrection, I can also wait expectantly for my resurrection when all things will be made new. But even now in the in-between time, I can live with hope, knowing that God’s hidden paradox is at work right now in my life.
Way back in the late 70’s my big brother and I were at my mom’s softball game. She was quite the athlete and holding down left field like a champ. The problem was that my brother was painfully holding me down like a champ with our parental referee at a safe distance. Somehow in the struggle I was able to break free and fled to the only safety I knew: my mom in left field. To the naked eye it looked like I was running out to congratulate my mom on a game well played (though apparently this is usually frowned upon in the middle of the inning). But actually I was just tired of getting beat up and I wanted my mommy, even if it was bad timing and publicly embarrassing.
And this is exactly what Jesus wants for and from me. In my regular life I get hammered by lots of bullies. I work in a church which is, by definition, filled with those who need lots of grace. And sometimes we really aren’t nice to each other. Sometimes I get bullied in my own family or among my friends (as well bully them back). But to be honest I think that most of the bullying that I endure comes from inside of me…that nasty bully called sin that leaves me bloody far more often than I care to admit. In any case…and I mean ANY case…Jesus wants us to immediately come running to him. Even if the timing is awkward and we look silly. We have no other safe place. We have no other hope. We have no other power. Jesus himself came down and was bullied like none other. Even though he was infinitely perfect, he allowed himself to be beat, ripped apart, spat upon, belittled, illegally tried and brutally murdered….so that not only would he understand and empathize with us when we are going through the trenches (though that’s nice), but so that he can HEAL us and give us HOPE in the trenches, even carrying us back home. He has run down to us. Now he carries us back with him. Stop carrying this load alone (stop carrying it all). What Jesus wants is for us to be Speed Gracers.
Mark 1:9-11
Just seeing that word…’anxiety’…it makes my heart beat just a tad bit faster. She (“anxiety”…and yes, it’s a she in my head) has been my nemesis, my arch-enemy, my Lex Luthor. One of my “gifts” is being able to vision and see down the road a good little ways. The shadow side of that is when I don’t see God on that potential horizon. Or, worse yet, I see God but He’s either too weak to help, or has a not-so-pleasant destination in store for me. And that ticks me off. And it makes me anxious.
Psalm 27
1 Corinthians 1:20-21
When I was a kid growing up in Austin (before it was Austin) there were actually empty lots and freedom to be a ridiculous kid. And I was.
Just highlighting the behind-the-scenes in photoshop (no other doctoring at all!) reveals what couldn’t be seen: brilliant show with the North Star leading the way.
